


All Too Human

by Rhiannimated



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Blow Job, Breaking The Rules, Chloe Decker Finds Out, Cuddling, Cunnilingus, Devil eyes, Edging, F/F, F/M, Kink Negotiation, Lucifer is Always Naked, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Orgasm Denial, Premature Ejaculation, Sexual Frustration, Threesome - F/F/F (mentioned), Threesome - F/F/M, Tipsy Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, bullet vibrator, couch make outs, devil reveal, dubious consent due to alcohol consumption, ejaculating in pants, pointed discussions of the show Supernatural, sexual frustration for fun?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:33:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25323946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhiannimated/pseuds/Rhiannimated
Summary: Set in Season 1, post-episode 11 "St. Lucifer," Lucifer is entertaining the lovely Brittanies in the penthouse when he experiences premature ejaculation for the first time ever.  How could this possibly happen to him!?  He's the bloody Devil!
Relationships: Brittany (Lucifer TV)/Brittany (Lucifer TV), Brittany/Brittany/Mazikeen (mentioned), Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer/Brittany/Brittany, Lucifer/The Brittanies
Comments: 65
Kudos: 177





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be added with new chapters.

“Oh, this is definitely not a bad way to spend the evening,” Lucifer comments to himself. He’s naked on his bed with two beautiful Brittanies (one blonde, one brunette, both SMOKIN’ hot), also naked, and he’s fingering both of them while they make out sloppily. Crawling up the bed a little while continuing his ministrations, he leans over to suck the blonde’s nipple, grinning at her moan and the twitch of her hips. He moves over to do the same to the brunette who breaks away from kissing the other Brittany to moan loudly.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Lucifer!” she cries out, grinding her hips down onto his fingers even harder.

He brings both his thumbs into play, stroking each of their clits in time with his pumping fingers. They go back to kissing each other, and he makes a feast out of their delectable bodies, kissing and nipping any bit of skin he can reach while still driving them both closer to orgasm.

The kissing women are a sight to behold, especially from Lucifer’s vantage point. They seemed to drive each other on nearly as much as Lucifer’s nimble and talented fingers. It didn’t take long at all for Blonde Brittany to climax with a well timed flick of the wrist and bite on the hipbone. Brunette Brittany followed soon after when he dipped down to replace his thumb with his tongue, focusing on her now that Blondie was coming down from orgasm number one of the night. When she became oversensitive, she wriggled away from him, giggling.

“That was amaaaazing,” they said together, then giggled again at saying the same thing together.

“Yes it was. Quite lovely,” Lucifer leers at them. “What do you desire now?”

They give each other a cheeky look then turn back to Lucifer and say together, “Your cock.”

He raises a lecherous eyebrow and grins. “Well, then, far be it from me to stop you!”

Blondie pulls and Brunette pushes him into position so he’s leaning back comfortably against the pillows at the top of the bed. Blondie goes in for a scorching kiss and Lucifer indulges her wholeheartedly, groaning into her mouth when he feels the other Brittany’s lips wrap delicately around the head of his very hard cock. It feels good, especially when she darts her tongue out to circle around the crown and nudges his slit, coaxing precome into her mouth. It feels even better when Blondie kisses down Lucifer’s chest and joins her co-Brittany in worshiping his sex by sucking on his bollocks.

All in all, it’s a pretty decent threesome they’ve got going, and Lucifer is more than content to let them play for as long as they want. He reaches out to brush both of his hands through their hair, making them both moan. The vibrations are quite lovely, and then all at once all too overwhelming. Unexpectedly, everything feels much too good, much too soon. He seizes up with no time to warn his bed partners before he’s ejaculating down Brunette Brittany’s throat. She pulls off, coughing, his come flying everywhere.

“Wow, Lucifer, I’ve never seen you come so fast!” she giggled. “I must have a magical mouth!”

“That’s never happened to me before,” he looks down, stunned beyond comprehension. He’s also thinking she might be right, because getting head had NEVER felt that intensely good before. Lucifer’s always prided himself on his exceptional stamina, able to go all night, pleasing everyone and then some before succumbing to his own desires.

“Don’t even worry about it; I take it as a compliment.” She touches herself provocatively, proving how hot she finds it.

“Yeah, it was totally hot making you lose control that fast,” Blondie agreed, biting her lip and nodding.

“But…it shouldn’t have happened! Not that soon! What am I, a bloody teenager getting to third base for the first time? Pathetic!” He stands up and looks at his softening cock with disgust. “And it’s not even staying hard?” He glares at them. “Did either of you put a curse on me?”

They look at each other in alarm. “No! I wouldn’t even know how to do that!” Brunette Brittany cries.

“Me either, I’m a good Catholic girl!” Blondie adds.

This at least gets a smirk out of Lucifer. “Sleeping with the Devil doesn’t seem like Good Catholic Girl behavior.”

She giggles and shrugs her shoulders. “Who could blame us, though?”

“Too right.” He sighs. “I suppose you wouldn’t know how to curse me, would you? And why would you anyway, since it’s clearly to your detriment…” Lucifer scrubs a hand over his face. “Apologies for accusing you, ladies. This just caught me a bit off guard,” he admits with a chagrined expression. “But, there’s still much fun to be had, rest assured!” He rubs his hands together in anticipation and then claps. “Right! Who wants to sit on my face?”

Just then, he hears the ding of the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's in the elevator!?


	2. Chapter 2

Chloe enters Lux, craning her head all around, trying to find the owner of this establishment. There’s loud music playing that she doesn’t recognize and she wishes she brought earplugs just to prevent a headache forming. When she’s done a circuit of the club and still can’t find Lucifer, she heads to the bar. A couple of bartenders were busy helping customers, but Maze honed in on the detective right away. 

“What can I get you, Decker?” she asks, leaning over the bar so her cleavage is even more pronounced. 

“Oh, uh, nothing. I’m just,” Chloe looks around the room again, “looking for Lucifer. Is he here tonight?”

Mazikeen suppresses a grin, but inside she was laughing with mischief. “Yeah, he’s up at the penthouse. But, he’d want you to have a drink before you go up. So, what can I get you?”

Her tone brooked no argument, so Chloe said, “Whatever’s on tap is fine.”

The demon draws her a beer and places it in front of her. Chloe goes to pull out her wallet, and Maze says, “Don’t worry about it. He’d kill me if you tried to pay for a drink here.”

Chloe thinks that’s probably a bit dramatic, but smiles her thanks. 

“Take your time, then feel free to head up when you’re done,” Maze says, tapping the bar, thinking that will be plenty of time to get Lucifer in a compromising position before the detective walks in. She wanders off to deal with another customer with a feral grin on her face. 

The music changes, and Chloe lets the sounds of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance,” wash over her while she sips her beer. She also thinks about why she’s here when she has no case and no real reason. This time she wasn’t drunk with a bug up her butt about Dan, nor was she planning on seducing Lucifer to prove she was still desirable. It simply had been a long week, Trixie was with Dan, and for once Chloe didn’t feel like being home alone. 

Being alone at the bar isn’t much better, though, so she only drinks about half the beer before leaving it behind. She slides off the bar stool, again looking around to see if Lucifer had wandered down. When she doesn’t see him, she leaves a few dollars on the table as a tip and heads up to the penthouse. 

The elevator doors slide open and she steps out. Out of the corner of her eye she sees movement and turns to see Lucifer walking down from the bedroom unashamedly naked until he sees it’s Chloe. She shields her eyes and gasps. “Whoa!” 

“Detective! What a surprise,” Lucifer says, turning around immediately and heading back to the bedroom. “One moment!”

“If you’re busy, Lucifer, I can go. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Chloe said, blushing profusely. She hears his muffled voice talking to two other female voices in his bedroom. 

Then, he calls out, “No worries, Detective, I’ll be right there!”

There’s lots of giggling and rustling that sends Chloe’s imagination into overdrive, but she’s pretty much frozen to the spot. Frantically telling her legs to get back into the elevator and flee does absolutely nothing. A minute later, Lucifer walks back down to greet her, fully dressed in his usual black suit, white shirt, and matching white pocket square. 

“Sorry about that, I didn’t know you were popping by. Do we have a case?” He looks at the clock. “Oh, bit late for that, isn’t it?”

“No, there’s no case, Lucifer. I just…” She feels silly now, especially since he clearly has company. “Wanted to hang out,” she ends lamely. 

He looks absolutely delighted by this response, but then turns wary. “You’re not drunk this time, are you?” 

She laughs. “No, Maze gave me a beer, but I only drank a little. Just feeling a bit bored at home, alone. But, you’ve got company. I should really go.”

“No, no, don’t be ridiculous! The Brittanies can entertain themselves. I’ll send Maze up in my place.”

“Oh. Where do you want to go?” she asks, feeling completely off balance. 

He considers this for a moment, then cringes when he hears one of the Brittanies moan loudly. “We could have a drink down in Lux?”

Chloe shakes her head. “It’s really fine. You have the Brittanies, I’ll find something else to do.”

“No, wait!” He looks rather frantic, his hair in slight disarray from his earlier activities. “Why don’t we go back to your place?”

Chloe considers it. “Well, I guess we can, if you’re sure you want to…”

“Yes, absolutely. Let’s go.” He walks towards the elevator, but stops at the bar to grab an unopened bottle of wine. “Ah, now we’re ready.” He presses the button and steps in, holding the door open for Chloe, who is much slower in following. 

Her feet feel like she’s walking through molasses. She couldn’t quite wrap her mind around the fact that Lucifer wanted to come hang out at her house and drink a bottle of wine when there were two beautiful women, presumably naked, in his bed RIGHT NOW. But, she has to admit it warms something deep inside of her that he looks so enthusiastic to spend time with her outside of work. 

“Did you drive here?” he asks, filling up the quiet of the elevator. 

“I took an Uber, actually. I didn’t know if we’d be drinking or not,” she admits with a shrug of her shoulder. 

“Marvelous, I’ll drive.”

Down at the bar, he briefly speaks to Maze about entertaining the two women upstairs. She gives him an inscrutable look, then turns on her heels to comply with his request. 

"Shall we, Detective?" he asks, leading her to the car. 

"We shall," she smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what they're going to get up to???


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why they start discussing Supernatural, honestly...it just happened and I had no control over it!

“Right, so, what should we do, Detective?” Lucifer asks after they’ve entered the apartment. 

Chloe goes to the kitchen and gathers two wine glasses and a corkscrew. “I’m not sure, I hadn’t thought this far ahead. Maybe we could watch something?” she suggests, then starts working on opening the wine. 

“Ooh, a little ‘Netflix and Chill,’ as the kids say?” he asks with his usual flirty intonation. 

She pops the cork and pours them each a generous glass. “Maybe, but only in the literal sense.” 

“Whatever you say,” he says, graciously accepting his glass. “To ‘hanging out.’ Cheers!” He clinks his glass against hers and takes a sip. “Mm, marvelous.” 

“Cheers.” She takes a sip and hums her agreement. Wine in hand, she leads them over to the living area, sitting on the couch and flipping on the TV. She flips around for a bit, not really finding anything interesting so she leaves it on a Supernatural marathon for background noise. “Thanks for coming over, Lucifer. You really didn’t have to do this.” 

“Nonsense, what are frie-, I mean, partners for?” he corrects himself, taking another sip of wine. 

Chloe turns to face him on the couch. “We’re friends, Lucifer. After what we’ve been through? You’re more than just my partner.”

He turns his upper body to study her face, swirling the wine in his glass. “Friends it is, then,” he says, and breaks out into a brilliant smile. 

They turn back to the TV, letting the episode wash over them as they drink their wine in companionable silence for a while. When they’ve emptied their glasses, Lucifer fetches the bottle from the kitchen and fills them both again. 

“So, are you a Dean girl or a Sam girl?” Lucifer asks, settling back down with his fresh glass. 

Twisting her lips in thought, she takes a long sip of wine. “Mmm, I guess Sam, if I had to choose.”

“Why Sam?”

“I don’t know much about the show past season 5, but I feel for his whole predicament. He didn’t ask to be given demon blood as a baby. He didn’t ask to be the skin suit for the devil…no offense.”

“None taken,” Lucifer huffs a laugh. “Possessing Jared Padalecki’s body would be quite the delight!” 

He wiggles his eyebrows, and it should be ridiculous, but Chloe only finds it ridiculously cute. She giggles before taking another sip of wine.

Lucifer grins, then adds, “Not that angels can really possess people. Demons could, but I’ve forbade them from doing so ages ago.”

Chloe gives him the same weird look she always does when he makes claims about some celestial universe beyond her comprehension. Then she shakes her head, thinking now is not the time for that discussion, so she continues her argument. “Also, Dean is such an asshole. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a sibling, so I just don’t get it, but couldn’t he be just a little supportive? Yeah, Sam makes a lot of mistakes, but in the long run he’s just trying to do his best.”

“Coming from someone with lots and lots of siblings, I can tell you that no, he cannot be supportive. The eldest child always has a chip on their shoulder, forced to grow up much faster than the following progeny.” He rolls his eyes, thinking of Amenadiel. 

Chloe grimaces. “That doesn’t sound pleasant.”

He snorts into his wine glass before taking another long sip, deciding not to get into it. 

After watching more of the show, Chloe speaks up again. “I’m much more interested in Castiel, though,” she decides. 

“Oh?” he asks, turning towards her with an eyebrow raised. 

“I know they don’t make this explicit, but you can tell he cares about Dean way more than he should as an angel. His love for Dean is partially why he ends up falling, becoming more human. And his struggle with understanding human reactions and emotions is totally endearing.” She doesn’t dwell on the fact that Lucifer also seemed to struggle with regular human emotions. 

“Yes, it’s a shame they didn’t explore that angle more,” Lucifer agrees, while his mind reels at the unintentional comparison to himself. He’s felt this inexplicable connection to Chloe for quite some time now, and when she’s around he’s vulnerable, more human. And his power doesn’t work around her. The thought of what that connection might be drives him to take another sip of wine. 

After more Supernatural conversation, and the rest of the wine bottle poured between the two glasses, Chloe clinks her glass against his again. “Cheers! So, tell me, what made you decide to come here, instead of hanging out with the Br-” she hiccups, “ittanies?” She claps a hand over her mouth. “Oh my gosh, I might be drunk!”

Lucifer chuckles at her proclamation but purses his lips as he considers her question. “Can’t a devil just want to spend time with his friend?” 

Chloe shrugs a shoulder. “Sure. I just never would’ve pictured you turning down a threesome, let alone leaving in the middle of one.” She finishes her glass and looks at it with a pout before placing it on the coffee table. 

He certainly didn’t want to tell her that he’d thoroughly embarrassed himself in front of them. He tosses back the rest of his own wine and places his glass next to hers. He hears himself answer as if he’s watching from very far away. “Yes, well…I guess I’ve come to realize…there are things much more important than sex,” he says haltingly, like it takes a lot of effort to admit such a thing. He makes the realization that he feels slightly tipsy. That’s…new. 

“Oh.” She looks at him with wide opened eyes. Something warm starts building between them as she realizes just how much he actually cares for her. He gave up guaranteed sex for a night of chatting on the couch, possibly the sexiest thing he could’ve done in her eyes. Or maybe it was just the wine…

They’re both moving towards each other, very slowly, as if drawn by magnets. When they’re close enough to kiss, Lucifer speaks. “I must confess…I think I’m tipsy.”

“Really?” she whispers, taken aback, though not moving. “I’ve never even seen you drunk before.”

“I don't know how it's possible, honestly, but yes, quite tipsy." His breath ghosts against her lips. "And, I’d very much like to kiss you now.” 

The earnest look on his face makes her heart clench. She bites her lip and nods. “Me, too.”

“This is probably a bad idea, isn’t it?” he asks, mentally kicking himself. But, he would regret it terribly if she did this and then wanted nothing to do with him tomorrow. 

“Probably,” she agrees. But, she kisses him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kissing! At last! How far will they go?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay! Life stuff got in the way of my fangirling. Hope this chapter makes up for my tardiness <3

Lucifer moans weakly when Chloe’s lips touch his, almost not believing he’s awake. This must be a most wonderful dream, he thinks, until she bites his bottom lip and he can actually feel a spark of pain. He gasps.

She soothes her tongue over his lip and pulls away. “Still a bad idea?” she asks.

Lucifer nods, looking star struck, and definitely a little tipsy. There were spots of red high on his cheeks and his pupils were dilated, his lower lip blooming a beautiful crimson from her lips and teeth. “I find myself not caring, though…” he continues to gaze into her eyes with wonder.

With a sharp laugh, Chloe leans forward to kiss him again, gently brushing her lips against his. He hums in the back of his throat, reaching out to run his hand through her hair. She deepens the kiss, bringing her hands to his face, adoring the feel of his stubble. For what feels like ages they stay like this, side by side on the couch, trading kisses back and forth. Sometimes Chloe closed her lips around his upper lip, sucking gently, sometimes Lucifer opened their mouths, darting his tongue out to massage hers before skittering playfully away.

The more they kissed, the more they turned towards each other. Lucifer’s hands ran all over Chloe’s stomach and sides, over her hips and thighs, but avoiding the obvious places, worried their alcohol consumption blurred the lines of consent, but unable to stop touching. It’s what he imagined being a teenager was like, exploring these sensations for the first time, fumbling through the motions together. Afraid of crossing the line and therefore simmering in lust bordering on sexual frustration.

Chloe loves the feeling of Lucifer’s hands all over her, and it didn’t pass her by that he was avoiding touching her as intimately as they both might want. She was grateful for his restraint, but her hands were preoccupied with running over every inch of his neck, throat, face, and hair. By now his usually neat hair is ruffled up into a riot of curls and she can’t get enough of running her fingers through it. But then, missing the feeling of his scruff on her palm, she slides her hands back to his face.

Eventually they pause, foreheads leaning together, breathing heavily. Lucifer is blown away by how good this feels. He loves a good snog as much as the next person, but this blew every other kiss out of the water. “Your lips are the closest I’ve been to heaven in millennia.”

She grins. “Well, I’ve never been, but I can say with utmost confidence that this is better.”

Such a proclamation, something he knows she can’t understand, still affects him greatly and his tenuous grasp on control seems to evaporate. His hands plunge into her hair, pulling her closer. Chloe climbs into his lap, straddling him and pecking quick, teasing kisses to his lips, driving him out of his mind.

Eventually he can’t take the teasing anymore and drags her lips to his, kissing her with such passion it makes her gasp. He sneaks his tongue into her mouth, then, and massages hers, coaxing it into a deep, sensual slide. When Chloe needed to breathe, Lucifer moves his kisses across her face and down her neck. As he reaches the juncture of neck and shoulder, he bites down before kissing the spot gently. This makes Chloe writhe in his lap to the point that he has to reach into his pants and readjust his erection or else she was danger in breaking it off.

“Guh, that’s hot,” she blurts. The advantage of his adjustment is that Chloe can grind her throbbing center into his hardness, causing a delicious friction for both of them.

Lucifer smirks at her but doesn’t disagree.

Their kisses turn somehow even more passionate with Chloe practically riding him in her excitement. She takes her own turn kissing up and down Lucifer’s neck, biting and sucking marks just above his collar where anyone could see them if they didn’t heal so quickly. Her hips move in delicious little circles, and somehow it felt even better than Brittany’s lips around him earlier. His hips start rolling up to meet hers, making her moan loudly.

“Mmph, Chloe, so good,” he murmurs, his hands running restlessly up and down her back. “So good…” His thrusting gets even faster and her hands clench tightly in his hair. “Unf! TOO good!” And then, for the second time that night, he seizes up and orgasms, only this time inside his pants. “Damn it!”

“Are you okay?” Chloe stops moving her hips and looks into his red, ashamed face.

“No, I’m not okay! I just…came in my pants like a bloody teenager!”

“Oh!” Chloe scrambles off of him, thinking it must not be comfortable with her on top of him, rubbing it in. “You can use the shower if you want? I might have some old sweatpants you can change into, if you’d like.”

He scrubs a hand down his face. “I don’t want to shower, I want to find Amenadiel and demand he brings me back to Hell. First earlier, and now this!?”

“What do you mean, earlier?” Chloe looks puzzled and Lucifer groans again.

“The entire truth is, I left the Brittanies as soon as you showed up because I managed to embarrass myself in front of them by popping off way too soon. At least I was naked then. I came to Earth to escape, but now it seems Hell has found me here!”

“That seems a touch dramatic,” she says, smirking. “It happens to everyone, I promise.”

“It doesn’t happen to me!” he shouts, and his eyes flash red.

“Whoa!” She backs away from him on the couch.

Watching Chloe flee from him, even if she stayed within arms reach, nearly crushes Lucifer. Of course she wouldn’t want to be close to a two pump chump. What a catastrophe.

“How’d you make your eyes do that?” she asked, slowly inching closer to him again.

“My what?” he asks, confused.

“They turned all…red and fiery. Do you wear some sort of high tech contact lenses or something?”

Lucifer is stunned. He’s usually in control of his more Devilish attributes. “I apologize, Detective. It would appear I’m not quite in control of myself tonight…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this going to be the Big Reveal!? We're all going to find out together, because none of this is planned, baby!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, a new chapter! Hope you enjoy!

When it appeared that this night was going to require a lot more conversation, Chloe let Lucifer use her shower and change into a pair of baby blue sweatpants. Since the collared shirt looked ridiculous with the soft, comfy pants, he also borrowed a plain black t-shirt, which seemed inexplicably soft for plain old cotton. All of this was beyond confusing for Lucifer. 

“It’s okay, Lucifer, we all have off nights. I’m sorry things got out of hand.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Detective. Something strange has been happening to me for a while now. I’ve bled, I’ve gotten tipsy off a couple glasses of wine, I’ve…prematurely ejaculated. But none of these things have happened to me before.” And why did his Devil Eyes just flash without his command? 

“But, Lucifer, all of that is part of being human,” she says, her face adorably scrunched up in confusion. “Everyone bleeds, everyone has a different alcohol tolerance, everyone has had embarrassing sexual encounters.” 

“I’ve told you, Chloe, I’m not human. I’m the Devil. You’ve just seen proof, yet you still reject it,” he says in dismay. 

“Your…eyes?” she asks. “They’re not just contacts?”

He shakes his head. “I could show you more, but…I’m afraid I’ll scare you.” Afraid is an understatement. The thought of losing Chloe at this juncture feels worse than returning to Hell. Some of what he’s thinking must show on his face, because Chloe’s expression changes to one of careful consideration. 

For the first time, Chloe’s really hearing what he’s saying. If he can seriously offer her proof that he’s the Devil, does she want to know for sure? There’s no going back from this. But her inquisitive nature is stronger than she can control. “I have to know, even if it scares me.”

Lucifer stands up and moves away, edging towards the door, giving them space. “I’ll leave as soon as you say the word, I promise. Please don’t be afraid.” With a yawning feeling of dread inside of him, he allows his Devil face to appear. Chloe gasps, but doesn’t immediately yell at him to get out or run screaming in the opposite direction, which confuses him. He resumes his normal features. 

“Are you alright, Chloe?” He watches the mental cogs in her brain moving behind wide, unblinking eyes. “Have I broken you?” he whispers, mostly to himself since she doesn’t appear to be present. Yearning to reach out and comfort her, but terrified of making her cringe away, he locks down all of his muscles to stay where he is. 

She feels stunned, frozen, her brain processing faster than she can keep up due to alcohol and hormones dancing through her system. Her thoughts were something like: Devil face. Devil is real. I kissed the Devil and liked it a whole damn lot. There’s a heaven and a hell and God… God is an asshole! Treating his son like that! Out loud, she says, “Ooooh, do I have a few choice words for Him.”

Lucifer looks at her like she’s out of her mind. “I beg your pardon?”

Chloe shakes her head to clear her mind. “Your Father! Our…Father? Who art in heaven? Holy…shi…I mean, crap…I mean, what the fuuuu…” 

“You have a few choice words for…God?” Lucifer asks, trying to confirm he understands. 

“The way he’s treated you! He’s been a horrible parent, you don’t deserve what he’s done to you. I would never turn my back on Trixie like that, no matter what she did.”

A tear slips down Lucifer’s face, another sensation he’s not quite acquainted with. “Chloe, I…”

The second she notices him crying, she’s off the sofa and dragging him into her arms. “It’s okay, Lucifer, I’m here for you.” 

A sob escapes him and he clings to her, finding himself overwhelmed in all new ways. “What in Hell’s name is happening to me?” he begs her for an answer. 

She rubs his back soothingly, letting him cry it out on her shoulder. “I don’t know…” Her mind is still slightly stuck on the fact that he’s actually the Devil and all of the implications involved. Out of nowhere, she remembers, “I shot you!” She pulls away just enough to look him in the face. “And you bled!” Then she remembers the conversation that seemed to freak Lucifer out completely. “When you said I make you vulnerable, too…”

“I meant literally, yes,” Lucifer replies, swiping at the tears on his face and trying to pull himself together. “It appears you might make me…more human in general.”

Chloe stares at him, hands now rubbing up and down his biceps. “But…why me?” With herculean effort, she works through the alcohol/hormone fog and thinks back over their partnership. “And why not when Jimmy Barnes shot you?” 

“That is the question, isn’t it Detective?” he gives her a small, rueful smile. 

She stills her hands on his biceps, just moving her thumbs softly against the skin just under the sleeve of his borrowed t-shirt. His hands settle on her hips and they gaze into each other’s eyes. “I have so… so many questions, but it’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course, I’ll get out of your way. Thank you for the change of clothes; I’ll return them next time I see you.” He pulls away from her and starts looking around for his discarded clothing. 

Feeling cold as soon as Lucifer pulls away, she panics. “You don’t have to go!” she says, before her brain has caught up to her mouth. “Umm…”

He tilts his head in confusion, eyebrows knitted together. “What would I do instead?”

“We could…cuddle?” she suggests, again internally cursing her mouth. 

Her suggestion is met with a blank stare. His own internal thought process is taking a turn going off the rails: she wants to cuddle? Even though she knows I’m the Devil? Even though we’re drunk? And agreed no sex? Even after I thoroughly embarrassed myself in front of her physically AND emotionally? 

“Forget I said anything,” she says, moving to clean up their wine glasses to avoid feeling the settling awkwardness. 

When she comes back from the kitchen, he still hasn’t moved. “I don’t want to forget, I just,” he pauses, unsure how to express his thought. “I’ve never cuddled someone just to…cuddle. But I’d like to try?”

The idea that he’s never before cuddled just for the closeness simultaneously makes her sad on his behalf and joyful that she gets to be the one to show him how wonderful cuddling can be. The fact that he wants to try with her melts her heart. “Sure thing,” she smiles, and leads him up to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to teach the Devil the wonders of cuddling!


	6. Chapter 6

Chloe brings her pajamas into the bathroom with her to change and get ready for bed. She then let’s Lucifer take a turn, giving him one of her spare toothbrushes. He debates leaving the T-shirt on, but he knows he can run quite hot and decides to take it off. Chloe pretends not to ogle his chest when he enters the bedroom. 

Once they’re both ready, they settle together in the middle of her bed, covers pulled up over them, loosely. He’s on his back, and she’s curled up against his side, head on his chest. 

“This feels rather nice,” Lucifer says, using his fingers to comb through her hair. 

She contentedly rumbles in agreement. “That feels extreeemely nice.”

He chuckles. “I know we said no sex, but… I feel it was terribly bad manners for me to have a ‘Happy Ending’ as it were and yet leave you wanting. That’s never something I’ve done before, and I certainly don’t want to do it to you…” He doesn’t make a move to reciprocate, but is ready to jump into action the moment she allows it. 

Chloe rubs her hand up and down Lucifer’s sternum. “I have to confess something,” she says after a few beats of silence. 

“Oh?” he asks, his heart speeding up. 

“I love kissing.”

Lucifer glances down to look at her, one eyebrow raised. “Oh?” he repeats, at a loss as to how to respond to such a confession. 

She giggles a little at his confusion, still feeling a bit tipsy, and continues, “Sometimes I like just kissing, where it’s the whole purpose and not just buildup.” 

He absorbs this for a moment. “But, darling, doesn’t the lack of fulfillment drive you mad? Delayed gratification is one thing, but all that kissing and grinding and buildup and, what, you go your separate ways?”

She nods against his chest. “There’s a bit more to the confession…” She giggles again when he groans. 

“You are absolutely killing me here. Out with it!” Though she’s making him want to shake her for dragging it out, he’s also enjoying every moment of her teasing. 

This time she’s quiet for much longer, and it’s not because she wants to tease him. Most men did not react well to this information. Eventually, though, she figures it’s better to get it out there now before it became a “thing.” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t always climax during sex…any kind of sex. Sometimes even with myself.”

Lucifer looks down at her, brimming with curiosity, but completely unsure what was appropriate. With anyone else, he’d ask a million questions straight away, probably mock her previous partners (any chance to rag on Detective Douche was appreciated), but it seemed like the wrong path to choose. “Go on…” he prompts.

Sighing in relief that he didn’t immediately reject what she’s saying, she gives him a one-armed hug. “My body has a very frustrating tendency to get almost there, stay right there, and then never actually get off. However, I’ve learned to really enjoy the feeling; being so turned on I can barely see straight, but knowing I’m not going to be fulfilled right away…it makes me crazy in the best way. Sometimes it takes a week of trying every night, simmering in sexual frustration the entire time, but by the time it does work, hooo boy. It’s worth it.”

The image she paints is very arousing, and he can feel a stirring in his borrowed sweatpants. Internally, he scolds himself. “I assume by this point you’ve tried everything?” he asks. 

She snorts. “Things you would never believe.”

“Well, isn’t that a fun little thought experiment.” He tightens his arms around her. “You are full of surprises, my dear.”

She sighs, but this time happily. “So are you. You would not believe how men usually react when I try to share this.”

Lucifer scowls. “I imagine poorly.”

“One way to put it.” She lowers her voice, pretending to be all the men she’s dealt with through the years. “Hey, you’ve just never had my cock before, baby, I’ll fix you right up. You may think you’ve tried everything, but have you tried,” she goes back to her regular voice, “thing I’ve tried several times to sporadic avail,” then back to mocking, “Well don’t worry because my tongue is God’s gift to this green earth.” She growls in frustration. “None of them have ever just trusted me.” She left off the implied, “Like you did,” but he definitely got the message. 

He kisses the top of her head. “I will admit when I first met you, I thought there must be something wrong with you. I mean, you turned down this,” he gestures to himself unabashedly and Chloe chuckles. “And I knew you had a child, so clearly the equipment worked.” Chloe bursts out laughing at that and Lucifer grins, glad that he can make her laugh. When they settle down again, he adds, “But, hearing about these other wankers, I suppose I understand your hesitance much better now.”

She snuggles into him. “Thank you for listening.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m happy to be here for you.” He’s really starting to understand what all this cuddling fuss is about. With Chloe in his arms, he feels like he’s floating far above this world. He takes a deep breath, trying to control his arousal with little success. “In the interest of honesty, though, I must say that learning this about you makes me extremely eager to tease and delight you. I am, after all, fulfiller of desires. Anything you want, any time you want it, I’m yours.” 

Her arms contract around him and he squeezes her back before they both relax again. “When I’m better capable of making decisions, I might take you up on that.” She kisses the closest bit of chest she can reach. “And all this is to say that if we do go down this road, and we’ve exhausted all attempts to get me off and you come before me, I’m always willing to try again…in an hour or two or the next day. For some reason my body takes a while to gain momentum, but if my partner is patient with me, we can still have a good time.”

Lucifer groans. “That did absolutely nothing to calm my libido.”

Chloe glances down and notices how hard he is. “How long has that been going on?” she asked, surprised. 

“…Off and on since we got into bed?” He’s disgruntled when he hears her chuckling. “And what’s so funny, Detective?” he asks in a playful tone. 

“I didn’t mean to make you ‘suffer’ along with me.”

He sighs melodramatically. “How I hate useless suffering. You know, there may be a loophole here that could help both of us.”

She scrunches up her face. “Tempting little Devil, you are.”

“There’s nothing _little_ about it, as you can see, Detective,” he looks pointedly at the tent in his sweats. 

Chloe snorts out a laugh. “You just can’t help yourself, can you? I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s the loophole?”

Rolling over to face her, he says, “We said we wouldn’t have sex with each other, but said nothing about sex with ourselves…in somewhat close proximity.” He waggles his eyebrows up and down. 

A flash of heat rolls through her body, stirring up the earlier arousal into a scalding inferno. She gasps at the image and Lucifer chuckles. “You do make a tempting offer…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, they were just supposed to go to sleep...but Lucifer's got a one track mind. And apparently so does Chloe!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait, but at least it's a long chapter? Enjoy!

Lucifer feels hope bubble up inside of him. “My, you must be pent up. I was expecting a lot more resistance.”

Chloe laughs. “It’s nearly 1am, I’m still slightly tipsy, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this week, but I’ve been extremely distracted…” she says suggestively. 

Lucifer thinks back and says, “Yes, you have been a bit not all there at times, though still brilliant as usual.” He stops and grins when he realizes what her suggestive tone indicated. “Oh my, does that mean what I think it means?” 

She rolls her eyes. “That I’ve been edging myself all week? Yes, that’s what it means.”

“And what exactly had you all hot and bothered, if I may ask?” His tone suggests he knows exactly who she was thinking of, but wanted to hear her say it.

She sighs. “You wore that ridiculously tight purple shirt on Monday, immediately found a reason to take off your suit jacket, and then rolled your sleeves up.” 

“Is that all it took?” He chuckles darkly. 

He sounds far too pleased with himself, so Chloe decides to take matters into her own hands, literally. She pushes her pajama bottoms and underwear off all at once. 

“Detective!” Lucifer cries out, delighted at the sudden appearance of her bare bottom half. 

“So, ground rules. No touching each other, but looking is fine, and we can make all the noise we want?” she asks. 

“Sounds fair to me,” he grins. 

She rolls so she’s facing him on her side, leg closest to him down so he can see, the other bent with foot planted on the bed. She starts out using her fingers, lightly dragging them through her wet folds to tease herself. “If I don’t wear myself out somehow, there’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep. Especially with you in bed next to me.” 

“We definitely don’t want that…” Lucifer stares at her hand with avid fascination, then hastens to push down his own pants so he can join her. 

Watching Lucifer wrap his long, elegant fingers around his thick, hard cock makes Chloe’s fingers speed up in their exploration. She lets out a breathy whimper. 

Lucifer eventually realizes he’s barely paying attention to his hand on his cock, a sensation he’s felt many times. But watching Chloe in the throes of pleasure; that is completely new. His eyes dart between her hand between her leg and the expression on her face, watching her eyelids droop closed and face go slack when she hits a good rhythm.

After a while of teasing, she finally gets down to business. Drawing tight circles over her clitoris, she drags her other hand down her body to her center where she slips two fingers inside herself. "Mmm, wish this was you," she moans.

"You and me, both, darling," Lucifer grits out between clenched teeth. He's wrestling with the instinct to rip her hands out of the way and take over, but not being able to have her makes watching even more erotic. At the first sign of getting too excited on his part, he tightly squeezes the base of his cock and grunts at the discomfort. 

“I love how worked up I can make you,” she says, panting. Watching him hold back his orgasm was unbearably sexy. “Just from touching myself.”

“Knowing that you’ve been thinking about me as much as I’ve been thinking about you is an extreme rush, I must say,” Lucifer admits, shivering when his palm slides over the head of his cock. He spreads precome up and down to smooth the way. 

Chloe watches with hooded eyes. “I have some lube, if you want?”

“Yes, please,” he pauses his movements while she reaches into the bedside table. She tosses it to him and he catches it easily. “Thanks, love.” 

She also pulls out a small bullet vibrator. “Do you mind if I use this?” she asks, shaking it to get is attention. 

His jaw goes slack and he groans. “I do not mind in the slightest. I’ve never minded anything less.” Shaking himself from his millions of fantasies, he squirts some lube into his hand and warms it up. 

“Mmm, I’m glad. My arms just get a little tired.” She settles back into her previous position, this time turning the bullet up a couple of notches before placing it just to the right of her throbbing clitoris. 

Lucifer grins lewdly. “I assure you I do not have that problem. I’ll be able to keep going as long as you want me to.” He slides his slick hand up and down his cock just to spread the lube around and then gets a little more serious about his rhythm. 

Her hips thrust involuntarily at that and she keens. Feeling closer to the edge than she’s been in awhile, she starts moving the toy in circles around her clit like she did with her fingers. 

Lucifer watches her every move, memorizing it for when he gets the chance to drive her out of her mind with pleasure. Whether she climaxed or not, he was damn sure to give her an amazing time. 

For a while the only sounds are soft moans, vibrations from the bullet, and the slick sounds of lube on flesh. Neither could muster up the urge to speak, so they kept quiet, observing each other intently and chasing their pleasure. Chloe turns the vibrator up a notch, groaning at the heightened sensation. 

Lucifer squeezes the base of his cock again, stopping himself from getting too excited too quickly. He’s starting to see where this edging thing could be a lot of fun, though he still can’t picture going a whole week like this. He’d be walking into everything cock-first. 

Clicking the bullet up two notches this time, Chloe squirms. “Unnghhh. So. Fucking. Close,” she whines, thrusting her fingers inside of herself as fast as she can, but her wrist is starting to tire out. “I can’t…do it…”

“Please let me help, Chloe,” Lucifer begs her. “Please! I expect nothing in return, just please let me finger you right now. I might lose m’ mind if I don’t.”

A begging Devil is something she never thought she’d see. “But the rules…” she points out, still helplessly thrusting as hard as she can. 

“Damn the rules,” he growls, his eyes flaming red again. 

“Oh fuck, that’s hot.” She lets her hand fall to the side onto the bed. “Okay, do it!” 

Lucifer rolls over to slip two fingers inside of her, finding her G-spot with lethal accuracy. He massages in different ways until he finds the one that makes her moan and thrust her hips into it. “Yes, darling, fuck yourself on my fingers, do whatever makes you feel good. I want to see you take every drop of pleasure you can wring from your delectable body.”

His words make her head spin almost as much as the physical sensations. The timbre of his voice caresses her ears, his desperation for her palpable in every syllable. She grabs Lucifer’s arm with her newly freed hand, needing to ground herself. 

“Mmm, love your hands. Take whatever you need from me, love.” His steady hand never falters its rhythm. 

“Keep…talking…” she grits out, needing to hear his voice. 

“You like my voice, darling? I guess all those times you’ve told me to shut up are because you’re overcome with desire every time you hear me speak. If you wanted me to, I could tie you up, blindfold you, and use this little bullet on you all while talking you through it. No other touches, just the sound of my voice and the relentless vibrations on your pulsing clit.” She moans and squirms, thrusting even faster. “I see you like the sound of that. Any time you want, I’ll set it up. Maybe not for our first time, though. The first time I want us to be able to see each other, learn each other thoroughly. I want to see each change in your expression as I touch every inch of you. I promise to find every delightful little erogenous zone there is to discover and then some. By the time we’re through with foreplay, you’ll be a babbling brook of desire more than ready to take my cock for the first round of the evening.”

Chloe was right there on the edge, so close she can feel the orgasm starting far away, at the other end of a tunnel. She keens loudly as it thunders closer. After all of the edging she’s done over the week, and finally feeling some part of Lucifer inside of her, she’s pretty sure this orgasm is going to knock her out. “Oh fuck,” she cries, feeling the first wave rolling all the way up from her toes. “Fuck, oh fuck!”

“Yes, please come for me, Chloe, I know you can do it,” Lucifer urges her on, keeping up his perfect rhythm and pressure. His free hand leaps for his cock and he strokes in time with the thrust of his fingers. 

“Harder!”

He obeys immediately and Chloe screams and pulses around his fingers. “Yes!” Lucifer works her through wave after wave, following her body as it contorts and thrusts off the bed. He can tell there are multiple orgasms, but has no idea how many. All he knows is that he’s blown away by the intensity of her pleasure. 

Eventually she becomes so sensitive, she goes limp. Lucifer eases his fingers out of her and immediately licks them clean. The second her heady taste touches his tongue, he lets himself come, finally. “Chloe!” 

The bullet rolls out of Chloe’s numb hands, buzzing on the bed and Lucifer reaches to turn it off for her. He also grabs some tissues from the side table and wipes himself down. On his way back to the bed, he says,“That was beyond fantastic, darling.” Then notices her eyes are closed and her mouth is ajar. She’s breathing deeply and he can’t tell if she’s asleep or passed out. “Detective?” he asks, reaching out to touch her arm. When he makes contact, her eyes blink open. 

“Hi,” she says up at him with a sleepy, sated smile. 

Lucifer grins adoringly at her. “Hello, love. Feel good?”

“I feel…so good.”

He chuckles. “You ready to sleep for a very long time?”

She nods. “I’m going to cuddle you like a teddy bear Devil all night, hope y’ don’t mind.”

Chuckling, he situates them under the covers and pulls her into his arms. “Is this cuddly enough for you, Detective?” He kisses her forehead. 

Chloe rumbles happily. “Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Then the morning comes...how will they be feeling by the light of day?? Hope there are no regrets *fingers crossed*


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your continued patience as my inspiration plummeted due to annoying life circumstances. At last, a new chapter!

Lucifer’s awakened by the sound of Chloe’s phone ringing at what seems like an unacceptably early time and he rolls away from the sound with an annoyed grunt. Drifting in a half awake, half asleep state, he hears Chloe answer. 

“Hi, Monkey, what’s going on?” she asks softly. 

His sensitive ears pick up that the urchin is speaking excitedly, but can’t pick out individual words, which is just fine by him. If there was nothing wrong, perhaps the detective would come back and snuggle some more. 

“Put your dad on the phone,” Chloe says, amusement evident in her voice. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay with taking her to the zoo today? She actually talked to you about it first, right?”

More mumbling from the phone, but in the Douche’s voice. Definitely not a voice one wants to hear first thing in the morning. 

“Alright, I’m okay with it if you are. I’ve got some work I have to do today anyway, so thanks for taking her.”

Work? Surely she must be joking, Lucifer thought. 

“Have fun!” There’s a shout from Trixie and Chloe chuckles. “Love you, too, Monkey. Bye-bye.”

The phone beeps off and Lucifer feels Chloe roll back towards him to resume cuddling. He makes a snuffling, happy sound and hunkers into the blankets even more. 

The next time they wake up, it’s nearly eleven in the morning and Chloe’s stomach is growling. 

“Somebody sounds hungry. Want me to whip up some breakfast, Detective?” Lucifer offers.

She stretches, yawns and smiles. “That would be nice.” After kissing him on the cheek, she grabs some clothes and takes them into the bathroom. “Out in a minute.”

Lucifer pulls on the discarded borrowed clothes from last night and waltzes into the kitchen feeling like a brand new Devil. Despite all of the pesky little human problems he’s been running into, last night was one of the best of his long life. Holding his detective all night: there was nothing better in the universe. Except maybe finally getting to sleep with her in a less literal way, which he plans to do as soon as they’re done with whatever work business she needs to attend to. 

After a quick shower, Chloe dresses for the day in jeans that really hugged her hips and a casual black t-shirt that just happened to have a deep v-neck. She regards her face in the mirror and decides to do a little makeup, just enough to look and feel light and flirty. Though she had definite plans to work through today, she wanted to keep the spark alive with Lucifer long enough to finish what they started once the day is through. 

It was pretty inevitable to her by now that she was going to give into him. She was under no illusion that this would become anything more than satisfying a craving, even if it did feel like they were forming a stronger connection by the day. She’s pretty sure she can do friends-with-benefits. Mostly sure. His friendship was the most important thing and he seemed to be friends (well, at least friendly) with lots of people he’s slept with. She’d be fine. 

Lucifer turns to place the plated omelettes onto the table and turns just as Chloe enters the room. “Detective, you look beautiful! Far more dressed up than me, though, I feel indecent,” he smirks. 

With an answering smirk, she replies, “Even when you’re fully dressed, you’re indecent.”

“Touche!” He gestures at the table, already set for breakfast with a glass of orange juice and cup of coffee taken exactly as she likes it. “Breakfast is almost ready, just waiting for the-” the toaster pops, and he smiles. “Toast!” He wanders back to the kitchen to grab the toast and butter it before bringing it over to the table. 

Chloe sits down and takes a deep breath. “This smells delicious, Lucifer! Thank you for cooking.”

“You’re most welcome, Detective,” he says, sitting down across from her. 

They both tuck into their food and Chloe is somewhat surprised that Satan makes such a good omelette. “So, being the Devil and immortal and all that, do you need to eat? How did you become such a good cook?”

“Ah, the questioning begins, I see,” Lucifer teases. “I cook because each time I leave Hell, I want to experience everything that this world has to offer. Food, drinks, drugs, sex…if it feels good, I want to take part in it because down in Hell…there’s nothing. Just demons, damned souls, and falling ash as far as the eye can see, which isn’t far, because it’s so damn dark and gloomy.” He chuckles darkly, checking Chloe’s expression to make sure she wasn’t running and screaming yet. She was simply listening and eating, so he carries on. “Hell cares nothing for desire except as a way to punish people, so while I’m here,” he holds his glass of OJ up before taking a sip, “I indulge.”

Chloe chews on the info and her eggs, processing the former while enjoying the latter. “Okay, that sounds terrible. I have about a thousand questions about Hell, but I think I should probably wait on those for now.”

“Take whatever time you need, Detective. Truth be told, you’re the first person I’ve revealed my true nature to who hasn’t gone immediately insane with fear, so you’re already doing remarkably well.”

She gives him a half smile. “Well, it’s not like you’ve hidden it from me this whole time. You’ve been completely honest. I just need to reconcile all of this with over 30 years of beliefs, or lack-thereof. I never thought that any religion had it right, that all were a little right and wrong and mostly fallible because they were invented by humanity to cope with the mysteries of life. Never in a million years would I have believed there was an actual Heaven and Hell and God and Devil and angels and all the rest of it. It’s a lot to take in…”

Lucifer nods. 

Chloe takes a deep breath and then smiles. “But, we have some experiments to do today!”

Immediately thinking of all the delightful ways he wants to attempt to make her climax, he leers at her. “Do we, now?”

She catches on to his mood immediately and smirks. “Save that for tonight, maybe. If you’re good.”

He straightens up and puts on his most charming, “I’ll be on my best behavior,” smile. “So, what experiments are we to do?”

“We’re going to figure out exactly how far away I have to be for you to be invincible again in case we ever need to know in the field.” She takes another bite and swallows it down with some OJ. 

Lucifer gives her a peculiar look. “You still want to work with me? Even though you know I’m the Devil?”

Chloe drops her fork and looks at him, bewildered. “Of course I do! Knowing you’re the Devil makes all the weird as hell—pun FULLY intended—things you do make so much more sense, and you’ve been right all along: those abilities have helped us solve cases.” He looks smug and she grins internally at how easy it is to stroke his ego. “But, now that we know that I’m somehow a weakness for you, we need to be safer on the job. I don’t want to lose my partner, nor be responsible for the Devil being killed. I mean, what would even happen to you?” she asks, picking her fork back up and taking another bite. 

He shrugs. “I’d go back to Hell, I imagine.”

“Right.” She really didn’t want to think about that. “So we don’t want that to happen. Which means when you’re next to me, you need to be safer. And if things go south, I need to know how far away to get so you can heal.”

Lucifer is quite frankly baffled by how concerned Chloe is for his safety, but also touched. They eat in companionable silence for a bit while Lucifer contemplates these new feelings brought up by her protectiveness. As they get up to clean after breakfast, Lucifer says, “How shall we go about this experiment?” 

Chloe loads the dishes into the dishwasher. “I have a plan. We’ll need to head back to Lux. I figure you want to change before we go anywhere else anyway,” she smiles. “Though I can’t say I hate this comfier look.” 

The Detective looks so adorable gazing up at him that he can’t stop himself from smiling back and leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on her lips. “I’d dress down for you any time you’d like.”

Her smile widens. “Good to know. But let’s get going, the sooner we finish this experiment, we can possibly move onto more interesting ones…”

Lust flashes in his eyes. “I like the sound of that very much.”


End file.
